Do Porn Editors Wear Pants??

So, the other day I was doing some editing on a hip hop video and I was cutting together a scene with scantily clad women rubbing their bodies.  I found it "hard" to concentrate.   This got me thinking, what do porn editors do?? I know they edit together "free spirited" women doing what they do, but how do they handle it?  Is it something that it's kosher to sit there without pants and appreciate your work.   I imagine the veterans who have seen everything, nothing turns them on, but for the rookie's first week of work, getting paid to look at porn all day has to be tough.   When I picture a porn editing house, I see the editing suites similarly to the rooms you pay a dollar to go in an watch a movie or dancer, but instead of a dancer in the room, it's a fat sweaty dude sitting there, no pants, and a plastic cover over his keyboard for "spills".    The thing is, I actually know a porn editor, and he's a cool dude, tall skinny, but he just does those amateur solo videos.   I am sure the more in depth you go into the porn editing industry the creepier the dude gets.  When you break in, it's low pay and strips teases, then bills get higher and you need to step your game up.  BJs and Facials left and right, your creativity gets going as after a month as you do a facial montage to the latest radio hit, but where to now??? Lesbos, of course, this is a happy time in a porn editors life, two women, but the boredom of the same thing seeps in, so it's on to penetration.  You can rationalize it, because you set a nice mood and work on pacing,  really hammer home the good moves..  Guy/Girl, Girl/Girl strap on, Guy/Guy/Girl, Guy/Guy/Guy/Girl, GUY/GUY oh uh??  Now, your confused and don't know what happened.   You make a funny GIF a dude getting helicoptered and it's okay, right? it might be gay, but it's funny?? Right? The pay is good, you've moved out of your mom's basement and bought a tricked out 2002 Dodge Neon, life is great, and you are back to editing women..  Wait a minute?  What's the horse doing here..  Oh no... and a dog.. Snake.. So, New Career?  Yeah, you definitely need a new career..   
Director?
"Alright, beautiful, simple scene, just sit on this bed, and act like your boyfriend is on the other end of the webcam and do what you do, you got that?" 
That's a cut...
J. Leland Malinski is an writer/director/editor for Across the Bridge Productions, a video production company out of Brooklyn, NY.  check out his latest work @ www.acrossthebridgeproductions.com 

Michael Jordan Undergoes Sex Change to Play in Wnba

Michael Jordan Undergoes Sex Change to Play in Wnba

The Missing Button

Day 1, Story 1.   The Missing Button 

It was a Friday in the city, which is good and bad.  The energy is up for the anticipation of the weekend, but the influx of tourist blogs down our city streets.    I stood in the "Country".  Times Square for me is like going to back home to the country.  The people walk slower, dress worse, and it's filled with the Nation's chain restaurants.  Hard Rock, TGIFridays, Apple Bees.  I never understood why you would come to New York to eat something you can get at home, but they do, and in drones.    I watch as the fanny packs and tucked in t-shirts glaze up at the buildings, and remember the first time I came to the city.  It was on a bus trip from high school.   I was taking a drama class and one of the trips was to go to a Broadway Play, Cats to be more precise.   I wasn't all that interested in Cats, so during the intermission, I left the theater and explored the City..  I remember being told the dangers of NYC, but this didn't matter. How could it be dangerous with all these people around.  What could someone do that wouldn't be seen by 100 people.  After living here for a few years now, I know that anything can be done.  New Yorkers don't care, we'll walk by the strangest thing and wouldn't even bat an eye.  Walking around as a teenager, New York, just created dreams for me and I thought to myself, I could live here one day.  The height of the buildings, the pace of the walking, and the energy.  It's like no energy I've ever felt before.  If I could harness that, then I can make it. Well, it's about 10 years later, and I stand on the same city streets waiting to drop off a camera to a client.   I am dressed rather similarly than I would be in high school.  Collar shirt, shorts, and flip -flops.  The short's top button has popped off, leaving me with the constant fear that my zipper is down.  I fear that my zipper is down, which would be in embarrassing, but I don't fear that my zipper is down and my dick is out.  I look at it like this, if my zipper is down it's embarrassing, but if my zipper is down and my dick is out it's memorable. Which brings me back to the first time I went to NYC.  On the bus ride back out of the city, we are at a traffic light and standing outside to our left is a "gentleman" leaning against a truck, and he's stroking it.  Straight playing with his dick.  Now, it's not outside the pants or anything.  But the outline is clearly visible and he is really working it.  Playing with the tip with his index and thumb, then doing full strokes down the whole thing.  I had my video camera and I start filming, while telling the whole bus to look camera left.   The bus goes crazy.  The entire bus watches for what seemed like minutes, jumping up and down as this dude without a sense of indecency strokes away..   Right then I thought.. Yeah, I could definitely live in this city.. 

Steve Martin - The Pleasure of My Company

Steve Martin is the man. I haven't been a fan of his forever, but I do appreciate what he does as a performer and a writer. I remember watching Roxanne as a kid and really loving it. The Jerk is obviously a masterpiece and his work on SNL is classic. However, I didn't come to like him again until I read his autobiography, which gives great insight into his life and how much he was into Magic, and the stage. I respect his work ethic, one I wish I had. I don't write enough, and I definitely don't write enough to justify my belief that I could write better than someone. It's hard writing comedy, or so I've heard. I really only dream of writing it.

I recently read, well listened, to Steve Martin's audiobook, The Pleasure of My Company.. It's a book written through the mind of a guy with many mental ticks. He's OCD about many things and I found most of the humor to be based in my similarities to this character. Now, I don't have any crippling nuances that hold me back from living life, but I can see how easily I could. From counting ceiling tiles, to wanting everything in life to be even in number. I have to give Steve Martin credit for this piece, as I believe that at least some of these mental ticks have to come from him. In the audio book, which I downloaded from Audible.com if you are interested, Martin himself reads the book. This is the reason, I bought it. I wanted to hear a comedy writer, reading his own work. Delivery is very important in humor, and it was a pleasure to spend a few hours with one of the best.